Lucky Lisp

Dress: £1, Ebay, Belt: £1.50-£2.00, Primark, Necklace: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool, Tights: £2.50, Boyes

Bonjour my little beauties. I am having an organizing day today, trying to make sense of my mountains of paper! So I have the wood burner going, and an endless supply of coffee.

I've decided I want to loose 10lbs and join a gym; I have had major issues with eating and body image throughout my life, and this year I have done so well in letting some of my old habits go. I am still struggling, but I can honestly say that I have come such a long way and I am proud of myself. I can assure you all, shifting these extra few pounds will be done completely safely. The reason I want to join the gym again is because I feel ready to; I had to stop going because I was quite seriously ill and exercising yourself half to death everyday and not eating is not a great combination. I trust myself to practice moderation! It sounds ridiculous but this year I have finally been able to look in the mirror and not be in agony over what I see- I still have my insecurities of course, but I am starting to accept myself a little more, and I feel healthier in myself for it. Anyway, I don't want to go too much into it, because unfortunately Eating Disorders have become a horribly taboo subject (thanks, mass-media...), and are widely misunderstood, plus this blog isn't about that! I just thought I'd tell you all how much better in myself I am feeling. (See, I can do optimism, even if it is severely awkward...) .

I've got a few things I would like to do when I (eventually, if ever) get my money through. For example, try and make some shorts, and make some Christmas cards. I really can't believe it's almost Christmas- every time I see a Christmas advert or anything Christmassy, I am just like "What? Already?" This year has gone so fast. I will not be sorry to say goodbye to it. Plus it's mine and my twin brother's 18th 13 days after Christmas, and it's the first birthday I have looked forward to in absolutely years (my birthdays are laughably shit, always).

Well, I have a bagel (revived obsession) in the toaster, and my stomach is turning on itself, and so I shall say goodbye for now.

Loveeee

PURSE, PODGE & PORES DETOX

I have been meaning to write and post this for a while now, but me being me, every time I went to do it I have been heavily diverted by irrelevant paths of links upon links. I wanted it to be well researched and refined, but, again, me being me, I have, since occupying myself with the idea for this post, have came to the senseless and counter-productive “justification” that until I post this blog, I can spend, eat and do the general opposite the title. And now I am just getting increasingly penniless, plump and imperfect- which is bad.
I am going on holiday (to sunny Devon) on the 5th of August and I have decided that, at the elderly age of Seventeen, it is about time I pop my bikini cherry. With holidays comes wet hair, no make-up and terrifyingly tiny and tight pieces of lycra. So that means that having hair that only comes out of a top knot once a year (I push the boat out each birthday), skin that is seriously deprived of anything good (my lips only see Pepsi Max, Coffee and cigarettes and the occasional OJ- water is something that is seriously lacking in my life) and a belly constantly pumped full of Morrisons crisp and sweet deals (Oh Hai £1 pringles), is generally not going to work in my favour.
I have gained a gruesome 14lbs + in the past Six months- I think moving in with your boyfriend is possibly the worst thing anyone who has a tendency to think “all or nothing” regarding food(/everything)- and it makes me uncomfortable. I can’t sit here and claim I don’t know how it’s happened- my diet has gone seriously downhill since I started earning my own money (thus being able to afford, and convince myself that I ‘deserve’ copious amounts of chocolate and crips). NOTE: I don’t want to focus too much on the weight side of things on this blog as I have had eating problems throughout my adolescence and this is (admittedly) my first non weight-loss focused blog.
I will no longer be in employment from this Sunday (24th- will talk about this in another post), and so I need to stop being so reckless regarding spending. I rarely ever buy anything I actually want (clothes etc.) and I am very careful with shopping, I just tend to leech my account dry by spending little bits here on there on sh*t I don’t need (Pepsi Max, Quavers, I hate you).
The beauty of this all is that they all flow beautifully into each other: If I stop spending money on food, I save money and loose weight and my skin will improve and vice versa.

(Will do a more ‘atheistic’ and in depth version tomorrow) Basically I am just going to drink a lot of water and stop eating such rubbish food.

I will keep everyone updated on how this is going. I hope that the fact that I have to post it in here will force me to keep on top of it. I have literally 17 days (Oh Jesus) to shatter my appalling lack of body confidence and squeeze myself into a bikini. This could be interesting...