25 Facts About Moi

I am slightly hungover today after drinking far too much larger on an empty stomach (later rectified by having a midnight curry in one of my favourite restaurants on Wimslow Road). So I am feeling horribly lazy. Plus I am intending to go to Liverpool today to see my family for a little bit and it's already 3 'o clock and I am still in bed lying in my own filth and smelling like the average hungover person (yum). Basically I really can't be arsed today, so I thought I'd do that 25 Facts thing I have seen on most of the blogs I follow (I only use Bloglovin to follow blogs). It's quite a nice, lazy, self indulgent idea, and in my current state that's pretty fabulous.

25 FACTS ABOUT JESS
1. I have a twin brother
2. I have lived away from my parents since I was 16
3. I have never tried meat or fish in my life, and never intend to
4. I have had 4 parts of my body pierced
5. In my last two years of secondary school my over all attendance was around 40%, but I still came out with 4 A*s.
6. I have 4 siblings and one in the womb
7. The most I have ever spent on an item of clothing was this January, on a coat from TopShop that was £100, before that it was £45
8. I have never been to a music festival, and have only been to 4 gigs in my life
10. I am an obsessive cleaner, and hate people staying in my house for that very reason
11. I have been smoking for 8 years this year (you do the maths...)
12. I am 5ft 1", and I don't think I have grown since I was about 10 (probably to do with the above^^^)
13. I haven't seen my natural hair colour for 9 years
14. When I was 12 I cut off my near-waist length hair to spite my Mum and it has barely grown since
15. Truthfully, as much as I want to, I don't think I'll ever go to University
16. I didn't eat/drink any milk, eggs, butter or cheese for 3 years.
17. I can't stand "full fat" soda. It has to be diet or I can't physically drink it
18. I eat Mustard with chips
19. My biggest body hangup is my arms because they're covered in scars and I swear some penis' are longer than them (in other words, they're insanely short)
20. As a kid I genuinely thought I could turn invisible
21. I secretly want to buy half of my female friends sex toys, just so they chill the fuck out a little
22. I've been obsessed with everything Japan since the MySpace days (2006)
23. I am terrified at the prospect of driving
24. I have been interested in Politics since I could talk
25. I hate the fact that the majority of these facts start with "I"

And that's that! Hit me up with links to your own 25 facts below!
Lots of Love,

NOW LISTENING: Hairdresser On Fire-Morrissey/Bona Drag

A Question

All images via Instagram

There's probably about 5 ladies in the Internet Kingdom that I often see and think "I want to be you".
This could be due to their sheer coolness; their obscene beauty or their amazing style (or sometimes, in ego shattering situations, all three).
I'll admit, I sometimes look at their photos for not just inspiration, but as a basis of self criticism. I compare myself  obsessively to them, like to "be more like them" is some kind of life goal.
These women are not public figures or celebrities plastered on magazines; they are people, people I know, people I don't. But I think I aspire to be them, or to put it less obsessively, am more influenced by them, with my weight, style and life choices, than I am with anyone else.

Is there anyone out there that feels like this? Are the girls on instagram making you feel like shit every time you eat a pizza?

Love,

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My Week in Pictures #3

FROM TOP LEFT: Me and my friend Jess rocking our sunglasses; the Necklace that George got me for my birthday in January that I have never photographed; Movie night with me myself and I, watched Easy A again with Amanda Bynes before she was a hot mess; watched another brilliant film with these 3 lovely ladies in (The Bachelorette); Diet progress!; I thought I'd be a fish; Me and Jess having a tender moment; Josh and Faye's one year anniversary; Da Gurls; This weeks nails (done whilst pissed, biggest achievement of my life); Makeup free and feeling fresh!; My new book.

Hey y'all. So the sun has gone back in across the Nation again. I have already broke out the tights in mourning.
This post isn't strictly true as it isn't really my full week in photos due to my phone being cut off on Friday***. Having your phone cut off without any warning and not even being aware that you hadn't payed your bill (I was told on the phone that it had been paid) is a really fucking fantastic surprise. Needless to say, I've been feeling more than lost without it. The ridiculous thing is, I have the cash to pay for it, but Vodafone don't except cash payments of bills in store (why?!) and as most of you who follow me on Twitter will know my bank has been on lock down for about 2 weeks now so cash is all I got.
Anyway, I've been in Manchester the last couple of days, I was only supposed to stay two nights but once I get here I hate leaving. So I haven't.
All in all, I've had a great week, I've seen a lot of my friends, loved the weather, spent hours trying to make my fake tan even on my back, drank a lot of cider, watched a lot of movies and lost some weight! (Although since I have got back to Manc I've been naughty and eating chocolate and pizza oops).
I'm a bit angry at myself today as even though me and George were up until about half 6 watching this lovely lady I did want to get up early(ish) and get some shopping done but I've managed to sleep until half 4. So I am posting this and then heading into town.
By the way I have spent some time giving my blog a complete overhaul, messing around with HTML and CSS all night. Let me know what you think!
Hope everyone's good and congratulations to everyone who have finished their exams!

Love,

NOW LISTENING: Blue Jeans-Lana Del Rey/Born to Die
***It was Wednesday, I often get horribly mixed up with days!

My week in pictures #2

FROM TOP LEFT: The Roses my fabulous George bought me, stealing away my "being bought flowers" virginity in one beautiful swoop; me posing in the pub toilets with George's top on (he also had a top on, just not this one, he's not a nudist); moi et ma un, George said this "is us in a picture"; my nails this week, to match the sky!; a Church in Manchester I saw on my wanderings; me in the sunshine; me again; the flowers in my garden; George looking very georgeous; Georgie again; the beer garden we were in; my pint in the sunshine; my reward for walking; the Hilton building in Manchester; me smiling; me posing today.

Haven't really done much today, although my letter came from Nation Wide so I can open a new current account with them since Llyods TSB have locked me out of my bank account (motherfuckers). And I ate porridge. Just spending the day in the sun listening to music dreaming about beer.

Love!

NOW LISTENING: Call it Fate, Call it Karma- The Strokes/Come Down Machine

Been Away too Long

I think that may be the longest hiatus I have ever taken in my life, with the exception of that 19 year hiatus I have taken from participating in any sort of physical activity.

I thought I would come back to blogging since although I don’t miss resizing photos and desperately trying to get my shoes in my outfit posts without it looking like someone’s removed my knee caps or I have a severely bent spine, I do miss the community blogging brings and the often overwhelming idea that someone out there actually wants to hear what I have to say or look at photos of me looking miserable- seriously did I ever smile in 2012?- in the above positions.

With that I shall give you a short summary of what has been happening in the world of Jess since September:

I have moved house yet again, this time into a house with more than two rooms (shocker) where the ceiling stays up and there is equipment of the clothes washing kind and a magical modern commodity that keeps your food cold (I know, mad) I absolutely love my new house and can’t help but feel human after living in what basically ended up being a leaky crack den after a couple of months. I honestly can’t even explain to you all how different this place is, and how much happier I am. I wake up every morning and even after being here a month I still can’t quite believe my luck. Plus my landlords are fabulous!

Me and George are still together, I won’t divulge too much on the subject as I know he gets pissed off when I broadcast details of him/us to the internet. He’s one of those strange sorts that actually have more of a life offline. So all I am going to say is that I’ve never been happier, and cliché aside, he genuinely is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. (If you follow me on twitter, you basically get a running commentary of how much he makes me smile). After an insane couple of months in which there was far too much alcohol, substances and tears which I am more than glad to turn my back on, I can finally recognise myself again. I can say now that I have never felt more whole than I have done in the past 5 weeks than I have in my life. (This may or may not have something to do with the fact I can now buy cheese).

Unfortunately I had to sell my camera (along with everything else worth anything) a couple of months ago during one of those fabulous periods where you can’t afford food, but Vodafone (made the arguable mistake) of giving me a phone contract so that’ll do. I don’t really plan on just filling my blog with pictures of me looking like someone’s shat in my pocket any longer anyway because that’s just not interesting.

Can’t really think of much else to share, except that I am still poor, but that’s half the fun.

NOW LISTENING: Is It Really So Strange?- The Smiths/Louder Than Bombs