Thursday, 15 December 2011

Use Once & Destroy

^^^Most flattering and Vogue-worthy facial expression the world has ever seen.

So I thought I would make a video as continuing on from what I said yesterday, I am feeling slightly deflated and underwhelmed by my blog and its lack of variety. I didn't think making a video would be that difficult though; for some reason I just seem to melt into some sort of stuttering flaccid mess whenever the record button is pushed and I am the subject. I bollocked it up at least 8 times and as a Youtube virgin (almost, if you're that interested there is a blonde me and my long haired brother with our culinary delights three years ago) it is a complete disaster. Might have to have a couple of shots of the ol'vodka next time for some courage...

If you follow me on twitter you'll know that today hasn't been my best. The Kyle has been a bit of a dick, to put it politely, and all we've done all day is bicker. Ah, to go back to the days where we lived 90 miles away from each other and only spent romantic weekends together (i.e. occasionally leave the house/show mutual affection for each other)...Men and women shouldn't live with each other, and if they do, they should have separate bedrooms so that the man can eat as many tuna/prawn sandwiches/leave as many half-drank beer bottles fermenting for as long as he likes in his personal room instead, rather than making the poor woman suffer and then get in a mood with her and accuse her of being a moaning, nagging lunatic when she finally cannot take the stench of decomposing fish and yeast any longer and ask you to take the offending objects down the stairs. Obviously I am not talking about me here, it's just a general view. Fucking men...

Let me know if videos are something you would like to see more of and I hope you're all having a lovely night (in your non-fish smelling bedrooms). Byeee!

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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Boys on the Radio

Top*: Second hand, Skirt: American Apparel, £27 Bracelet: (Mixture of 3) Lou makes Hoodie*: Boyfriends Jacket*: Vintage

It was a dismal and bitter December night; the wind was violently tearing through all it came across, rain slammed itself against the windows and the night seemed to swallow any flicker of light that dared spoil its dark bastion. But somewhere amongst the Yorkshire dales, a blogger awoke and once more took to her keyboard, and so it was a ghost blog no more…

HI GUYS. I thought I’d step into the overused, soiled and completely un-wearable boots of Mr. Charles Dickens for you all considering its Christmas and all- didn’t quite work did it? What. A. Shame.

Well I may as well just plunge right into it then. I have been a terrible, terrible excuse of a blogger lately. It’s been well over a month since I last posted and for that I feel awful. My excuse is feeble really, but I am going to drench you in it anyway and then coat you all in apologises in the hope you’ll be too busy looking at the pretty sugar glaze to remember that you’re soaking wet (I am nice). Basically, it has been too cold to even consider wearing anything remotely nice. I’ve been far too busy desperately trying to drown myself in layers to think about what look they collectively create. Luckily I have finally got some money in my pocket (aka. Bank) and so will do what most other mammals are too inferior to do in the winter- hunt. Yes, yes, it may not be for food (although I have been spending an absurd amount of time in Greggs recently devouring their Christmas tree biscuits), but, lets be honest now, you wouldn’t catch a squirrel waking up in dark and dragging itself to work every morning. Oh no, squirrels have the pleasure of staying in their little homes all warm and sleeping until the cold has subsided. We don’t. Therefore it is perfectly acceptable for a human to buy new clothes in order to keep itself warm. And yes, they do have to be pretty, because otherwise the human in question will be deemed unattractive and thus be unable to attract a mate and then the whole human race and the meaning of life itself will be undermined, and that’s not good at all. (Applaud here).

So there we have it, my excuse.

I’m not too pleased with my blog at the moment, I think it is seriously lacking in depth. All outfit post and no other things(?) makes Jess a dull girl. I am hoping to do some reviews and videos etc. very soon. I never intended this blog to be just outfit posts- that’s not really the sort of blog I read myself, I prefer a variety of features and a bit of personality, which I can’t really say my blog has at the moment. Hi motivation, bit of help here mate?

And finally a long overdue hello to all of my new followers! Who would have thought that by not posting I could gain followers- I hope you’re not trying to tell me something there! I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I am genuinely ridiculously grateful to everyone that takes the time to look at my ickle blog and comment and read what I have to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I, of course, being me and all, have tons more to say, but I am going to spare you from my ramblings for now and save them for another post. I hope you’re all feeling more festive than I am and that no one has lost any valuable limbs from the cold!

Lots of love

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LISTENING TO: Morrissey, Alma Matters *were all free as they are hand-me-downs/borrowed from friends or family

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Conversation 16

Coat: £35, TK MAX Cardigan: Free, Kyle's wardrobe Fur stole: (Vintage) Free, Sister's wardrobe Dress: Free, Sister's wardrobe Necklace: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool Belt: £1.50, Primark
Breaking News: Blogger has time to write on blog. I know, truly shocking; I know my jaw dropped. I have been dreading coming home all day due to the enormous list of house duties I had to do, but to my absolute astonishment, Kyle Hamilton has tidied up, without me even asking.

I honestly am stunned; is he possessed? And last night, instead of playing FIFA all night like usual, he put a film on and cuddled me because I was feeling a bit (ie. Extremely) down. And, wait for it, this is a massively alien happening, he let me eat his Macaroni cheese. What an absolute angel he can be (this isn’t sarcastic- I genuinely am really happy that he has done these things, any girl who lives with her boyfriend will understand!).

So this is what I wore today, I took these pictures in the morning before I left for college so that I could take full advantage of the daylight, and also because I find it mortifying when I get home and find that apparently in the 5 or so hours I haven’t looked in a mirror, I have transformed into a complete mess (well, more than I am usually anyway). So my make-up and hair is freshly done as well, congratulations me.

Because I spend every second I possibly can in my bed in the morning, and I am one of those people who cannot rush to save their lives, I have to time myself very precisely in order to get ready in time for my train; 10 minutes in the bathroom, 5 minutes making coffee, 5 minutes getting dressed, 15 minutes on my face, 10 minutes on my hair, 10 minutes to put shoes on, find keys and panic, 10 minutes to get to the train station. Because of this, those 10 minutes in the bathroom is spent in the shower racking my brain about what to wear (and to wash obviously, I do wash! Hahaha).

Now usually what I wear depends on how much I have eaten the night before; I get bloated ridiculously easily, I could literally eat a pea and I will swell to the size of a woman in her second trimester, but since recently I have been too busy/cold/lazy/poor to eat as much as I usually do (I feel like a traitor to womankind- it’s feast night as soon as I get enough money) it hasn’t really been an issue what I wear and so I put on this dress. As it says, it was free, because it was my sisters. My Mum bought it last year for her to wear to school, but she got told off for it and didn’t like it enough to wear it casually, and so I took it off her hands because I am such a good sister. It was originally from George at ASDA, which by the way, is my favourite supermarket clothes brand by miles. If I don’t wear a belt with it, it hangs too low and I flash my tits to the world, but wearing a belt hoists it too far up at the back and my arse is visible, so I wear a basic H&M skirt underneath to protect my modesty. I love this cardigan, Kyle hasn’t even noticed I wear it, but considering it was here when we moved in, I am guessing it was from when he was about 18, and he probably forgot he even had it. Finders keepers!

I finally found out what one of those fur things are called, so they no longer have to referred to as exactly that, “fur thing”, because apparently that just isn’t ~fashion~. I do find the name quite ironic though, I mean, mine is faux but if it was real, it would be a fur stole from a poor animal. Yeah, ssh with the animal rights Miss. Baines; there’s a time and a place- this isn't it.

Right, considering no one has been complaining about my shorter posts, I am guessing they are quite acceptable, and as I am trying to obliterate my dangerous lack of understanding of the concept of moderation, I am supposing I should stop about now.

Je t'adore tous! (Yeah, D at GCSE French, I know you're all tres jealous of my skillz)

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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

I Bleed

Jumper: £6.99, H&M Dress (worn as skirt): £12.99, H&M Necklace: 99p, Market Stall in Liverpool

Heyyy my lovelies! It feels like I haven't posted in ages; it's not a pleasant feeling! I think I am going to actually start doing some reviews soon, I am just trying to muster the courage to slap my slap-less face all over the internet... Before I begin on my endless rant today I would just like to give a little wave to all of my new readers, and a big, virtual hug to all of those who have been reading since the beginning, it makes me all warm inside that people actually read what I have to say, so thank you so much! Also, a massive thanks to everyone who takes the time to comment on my blog, I do read them and I check out all of your blogs- I use Bloglovin' so I follow you all on there. I get quite pathetically excited when I get an email telling me one of you beautiful people have commented.

First of all, how cold is it? Jesus Christ, I think I have lost all use of my hands and feet this week. It doesn't help when you're already ridiculously clumsy...I still haven't got into the Christmas mood, I think that will change when the Christmas decorations go up. Speaking of Christmas decorations, Leeds lights, what the fuck is that all about? Cocktail glasses? Since when were they Christmassy? Seriously, Leeds Council, if you're going to spend hundreds of thousands on Christmas lights, at least stick to the rules; you can't have a martini glass complete with a cocktail umbrella opposite a snowman, it's just not right.

I am having a shoe dilemma at the moment- I wear leggings quite a lot, and it's too cold to go sock-less, and if I wear anything past the ankle with leggings, my legs look about 3" long...I think I might have to invest in some more shoes. In fact, I definitely will; I keep forgetting that it snows here, and it's not a feeble coat of sludge like back home, it is full on snow, and I really don't want a repeat of last year (I wore my ugg-like slippers to go everywhere in, with a pair of glittery, gold, cable knit knee-high socks from Primark over them for grip- it works but you look like a fucking lunatic...). Awh what a shame, I hate buying new shoes ;)

Before I wrap this up (oh yes, it is the time of year you can sort of get away with awful puns) I need to ask one question: Women, what do you buy for a boyfriend who you've already bought a watch for? Every time I think about it all I come up with is socks, and he wouldn't be too pleased with that! I am on quite a tight budget, so £40-50 is my absolute limit. Any suggestions would be really appreciated!

Hope everyone is keeping snug! Lots of love

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P.S. Shakespeare would have been disgusted with my increasingly casual use of explanation marks. Must make a note to reserve them to preserve their effect. I am ashamed...

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Lucky Lisp

Dress: £1, Ebay, Belt: £1.50-£2.00, Primark, Necklace: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool, Tights: £2.50, Boyes

Bonjour my little beauties. I am having an organizing day today, trying to make sense of my mountains of paper! So I have the wood burner going, and an endless supply of coffee.

I've decided I want to loose 10lbs and join a gym; I have had major issues with eating and body image throughout my life, and this year I have done so well in letting some of my old habits go. I am still struggling, but I can honestly say that I have come such a long way and I am proud of myself. I can assure you all, shifting these extra few pounds will be done completely safely. The reason I want to join the gym again is because I feel ready to; I had to stop going because I was quite seriously ill and exercising yourself half to death everyday and not eating is not a great combination. I trust myself to practice moderation! It sounds ridiculous but this year I have finally been able to look in the mirror and not be in agony over what I see- I still have my insecurities of course, but I am starting to accept myself a little more, and I feel healthier in myself for it. Anyway, I don't want to go too much into it, because unfortunately Eating Disorders have become a horribly taboo subject (thanks, mass-media...), and are widely misunderstood, plus this blog isn't about that! I just thought I'd tell you all how much better in myself I am feeling. (See, I can do optimism, even if it is severely awkward...) .

I've got a few things I would like to do when I (eventually, if ever) get my money through. For example, try and make some shorts, and make some Christmas cards. I really can't believe it's almost Christmas- every time I see a Christmas advert or anything Christmassy, I am just like "What? Already?" This year has gone so fast. I will not be sorry to say goodbye to it. Plus it's mine and my twin brother's 18th 13 days after Christmas, and it's the first birthday I have looked forward to in absolutely years (my birthdays are laughably shit, always).

Well, I have a bagel (revived obsession) in the toaster, and my stomach is turning on itself, and so I shall say goodbye for now.


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Tuesday, 8 November 2011

On the Streets I Ran

SHIRT: £10, Urban Outfitters, SKIRT: £12.99, H&M, BELT: £1.50, Primark, NECKLACE: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool

What a day. It has been one of those days. Rushed morning, sprint to the train station, shit weather, oh the train is delayed...oh, oh no, it's cancelled. Get to college, ask where my money is, oh, yeah, I might not get it. Oh, oh, right. THANKS. This weather/darkness does not agree with me at all. It leeches all of my motivation to do anything. I honestly do think humans used to hibernate.
I got this top in an Urban Outfitters sale a few years ago, a tenner is a bargain, even if the said item does expose my breasts through the buttons more than I am comfortable with. The skirt is one I picked up in H&M, God, it must be three or four years ago now, and it very rarely comes out of my wardrobe, but since my stomach wasn't as round as a bowling ball today, I thought I'd give it some breathing time.
Since I am so miserable, cold and hungry today, I am again going to leave it at that, as not to inflict you all with my dire mood.

Hope you're all well, lots of love,

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Monday, 7 November 2011

Always dark.

Dress: £10, Republic, Belt: £1.50-2.00, Primark, Necklace: 99p, Market shop in Liverpool, Tights: £2.00, Primark
Just going to keep it short and sweet today. Hugely disappointed with the picture quality of this outfit post; it's just so dark when I get home. I usually just use the flash when it's dark, but it just completely washed out the dress and looked far too anemic, so I had to work with artificial light, and so I turned out the colour of a Simpson, hence the major de-saturation- but life must go on.
I am so excited- those who you who follow me on twitter will have seen my utter joy at my retweet by my favourite person on Made In Chelsea (my favourite show in the world), Miss Millie Mackintosh herself, and then to make things even better, one of my inspirations, all-round-beaut and ridiculously hilarious model, from Dirty Sexy Things, Charlotte tweeted me this morning! Star struck! This is the worst blog post in the world...but there is nothing I can do to save it- those pictures have deflated me completely, and my jacket potatoes are calling me.

And with that I will love you and leave you,

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Sunday, 6 November 2011

Nice Day for a Sulk

Jumper: H&M £6.99, Blouse: Vintage Market, £6.00, Leggings: £3.00, Primark, Necklace: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool

Why hello there. So it is bonfire night, and, as a British citizen, I am excited. The fireworks at Harrogate didn’t disappoint, and I was there, with my head strained, gazing up at the display with my mouth gaping (I didn’t, however, feel the need, like many people there, to go “Oooh” and “Ahhh” at each bang. Nor did I feel it necessary to shout “Oh yes! Yes!”, as the lady next to me did the whole way through, sounding like she was getting some strange erotic thrill. You need to get laid love).

However much I love fireworks, I do have some reservations about them. First of all, what we are actually celebrating is grotesquely patriotic; I mean, in principle, we’re all joyously commemorating the failure of a potentially revolutionary event- although it was for religious reasons that Guy Fawkes and his accomplices plotted to blow up the Houses of Parliament, he was at least trying to do what he thought right, and so by celebrating the failure of the Gunpowder Plot and burning dolls in his resemblance is actually us, without necessarily realising, saying “anyone who wants to start a revolution, fuck off or you’ll end up here”. Yes, yes, it might be a little extreme, but in the current climate- what with the protest movement and the Medias excessive demonising of the people occupying St. Pauls etc. it is quite sickening to see a whole nation having peas and pies and holding up their glasses to someone who died as an accidental Martyr to revolution (I like revolutions. There is nothing better than a good, hard proletariat revolution).

Another reason I don’t like bonfire night is because I completely and utterly disagree with the selling of fireworks to the public. I don’t care what anybody says- a few thousand families enjoying fireworks in their back gardens is not a justification for the gruesome and shocking amount of injuries that take place every year because of people using them irresponsibly. Growing up where I did, I knew of many people who ended up without eyes and with serious burns because of misuse of fireworks by absolute fucking idiots who somehow think it amusing to throw them at people/post them through letterboxes etc. every year I dreaded me, a friend, or a family member being the victim to one of these horrendous attacks. It’s just not worth it, and I really don’t know why the Government hasn’t put a stop to it. Unfortunately, yes, it is the minority ruining it for the majority, but it’s not worth the suffering, pain, panic and cost to lives and our NHS. There are plenty of amazing, and completely free, council-run firework displays that people can go to instead.

Anyway, as I was saying before I went on a rant, tonight we went to Harrogate and watched the fireworks there. We did the same last year, except Kyle came with us and I was wearing my PJs (you can take the girl out of Liverpool... you know the rest). This year my friends April and Phil, who are newly engaged (congratulations again!) came, and I got to see her beautiful ring, and new couple, Sam and Sammi. We’re all really close friends so it was really nice. Becca, Vicky, April and me were getting rather jealous of Sam and Sammi though- they wouldn’t let go of each other! Oh, those first few months of a relationship (you know, before you get to see more of each others underwear when you're putting the washing on than any other time!...). We then went back to Ilkley and had some food in Wetherspoons, which was nice. So all in all, a really nice day.

I had a good day yesterday as well; my History tutor (finally) marked my essays, and kept me behind and told me how impressed he was with my work (modest, I know). All of his comments were really positive and encouraging. Jade and me think he has a girlfriend, he was in unusually high spirits. English was actually productive as well, when I managed to sway the class from talking about Katie Price and other irrelevant points of utter bullshit and get back on Jane Eyre...

I was going to go and see Belle and Sebastian tomorrow with Kyle, and I was really excited, but in the end I am really glad I didn't buy the tickets as the website I was on conveniently failed to mention the fact that it wasn't Belle and Sebastian at all but one of the singers that had gone solo! He might be good solo, but it's just not Belle and Sebastian.

Anyway, Mr. Hamilton should be arriving back from work very soon, so I should probably wrap this up before he gets back (and before you decide to hack off my fingers in order to shut me up). Again, one day soon I will actually write about the clothes... Hope everyone has had a lovely, safe bonfire night!

As always, lots of loveeeee

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Thursday, 3 November 2011

Knight on the Town

Dress: £12 Outlet store in Leeds, Faux Fur Coat: £25 Vintage Store in Liverpool, Necklace: 99p, Market Shop in Liverpool

Oh check me out, two blog posts in two days. Hello master blogger! Brace yourselves for another one of my needlessly long posts about things that you probably don't give a shit about (you know you love them really...).

I thought it would be tactful for me to go straight in with what I am wearing, rather than rambling on endlessly about my life, so yes, the clothes. (They should make "Calls itself a Style blog but in reality it's a blog joyfully indulging in self-pity with some pictures of a girl posing in various outfits" a Blog category...). This dress is probably my favourite item of clothing, I would honestly wear it everyday if I could. The empire line really flatters my figure better than anything else. Unfortunately, thanks to my Paternal Grandmother (that's Nanny Baines, she is one hell of a woman), I have extremely round hips, and they are massive (my Mum tries to reassure me by telling me that when I give birth the baby will "slip out easier" due to this. Good to know. Thanks Mum). I've also inherited both my Mother and Father's broad shoulders, (again, cheers for that) so they sort of balance out my shape a bit. Anyway, this dress hides all of my sins, and I can dress it up and I can dress it down- basically I am just a bit obsessed with it, and at £12, it's one cheap obsession.

On to the coat, I've always been a fan of fur, but being a dedicated Vegetarian all of my life, I do feel guilty and, quite frankly, like a hypocritical bastard, wearing fur or leather. I have no problem with other people wearing real fur at all, as long as it's vintage. Vintage fur is recycled, and so you are not contributing to supply and demand, therefore by wearing your beautiful coat, you are not encouraging the death of more animals. My Nan has some beautiful fur coats from the 50s, and she gave them to me and my sister (and then forgot, she has Alzheimers) but I feel really uncomfortable taking her things because I don't think it's respectful clearing out all of her valuables as if she was dead...My Uncle though, obviously thinks it's fine, and has stolen her coats and given them to his girlfriend, who has most likely destroyed them by now. It's a touchy subject for me... So this is faux fur, and it's actually a childrens coat, but being 5ft 1", that's rather perfect. I want a brown one next, but I just can't find one that fits as well as this one- fur coats usually drown me!

I can't wait to save up a bit of money and get some more winter clothes. Winter is without doubt my favourite season. I don't know how to dress for summer and S/S collections never excite me, it's all about the A/W: layering, leather, pretty hosiery, dark makeup, wool accessories, party dresses...I could go on. Summer for me just equals disappointment, boredom and flimsy, anemic looking clothes. Not my cup of tea. I have to say though, snow and I are not great lovers of each other, but this year, I am going to be prepared (apparently Yorkshire doesn't 'do' grit...). Bring it on, snow.

P.S. I let Kyle choose the title of this post, and even though it is quite inappropriate due to my total lack of night life (I dressed like this for college; yeah that's my academic look- grieving young prostitute chic) it was the song he was playing on Rock Band, so I let him have it. EDIT: Awh he's just said that it is because "I'm your knight"- there is an ounce of romance in the man!

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Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Molly's Lips

Jumper, £10 (?) Primark; Leggings, £3, Primark; Necklace, 99p, Market shop in Liverpool.

I am fully aware that it has been over a month since I have posted, and I am quite disgusted with myself really, but alas, I have just been so horribly busy. I have been occasionally taking photos for outfit posts, but I have such a huge backlog that I just thought fuck it, I'll just start with last weeks.

So what have I been up to... well, any of you who follow me on Twitter will be aware of my various predicaments; basically, you will all know this by my excessive mentioning of it, but I am poor- have no money, in financial hardship etc. etc. etc. well, I am pleased to say, I am getting some help from our wonderful welfare state, and will be receiving benefits hopefully very soon (therefore, as you should also all know I am hugely interested in politics, feel free to get off my blog and get ran over by a large bus carrying homosexuals, immigrants, single mothers, people of various skin tones and social classes and students if you in anyway agree with David Cameron and his party full of ignorant Eton old boys and anti-feminist, frumpy, permed women or read the Daily Mail, cheers), so there is that one (very nearly) sorted.
College is going...well, if anyone from the West Yorkshire area is reading this who are in their last GCSE year and are considering going to Leeds City College, here is my advice- if you want a decent standard of education, run as far away as your little legs can take you, if you want to piss about watching videos and colouring in posters, go right in. Seriously, it is shit. I know it's an FE college, but it's inexcusably awful. Having previously been to Liverpool Community College, which has a much smaller catchment area, the difference between their organisational skills, resources and tutoring is honestly shocking. Leeds is a joke. The tutors don't want to be there, those higher up have no idea what is going on and the way the college is organised is just a shambles. I mean, the same lunch time for everyone in a college with probably over 5, 000 pupils, in a canteen with less than 100 seats? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Yeah, as you can see, I am not all too pleased.
Continuing on the education front, in the half term I went to Oxford for the first time to 'inspire' me. It was...odd. I mean, people use their legs to go places there (although I saw one woman on a bike with an engine-thing on- I thought me and her could be friends). I went with Kyle's Dad and Step-mum and stayed with her lovely parents. On the whole I really enjoyed it, it was just very intimidating seeing people dressed like they were off to catch the Hogwarts Express strolling around. (I did see two huge orange women in the highest heels I have ever seen, one in a fake silk maxi dress and the other in a jump suit that matched her skin tone, this was at 10am, I then knew then there were fellow Northerners around).
So yes. Busy half term. Went from Ilkley to Oxford, then straight to Liverpool. Then from Liverpool to Ilkley for one day then to Chatsworth and then straight back to college. And in between dyed my hair and glued someone else's longer, shinier hair into mine. Do you like it?
Anyyyywayyyy, I should be posting much more regularly now, and I might actually mention the clothes I am wearing at some point (today I just thought, eh it's Primark what else can I say about it?). I have about 583u402048903u89y57 posts to catch up with on all of your blogs! Actually terrified to go on Bloglovin'. Hope you're all doing better than I am (it's been one of 'those days' today...urgh).

Lots of love, your formerly pink & terribly neglectful blogger,

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Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Rest my Chemistry

Skirt: £12, Primark Vest: £3.99, H&M Belt: £1.50(?), Primark Jacket: £15, H&M Fake fur thing: Vintage, (Price unknown as it's my sisters)

I am having to take extreme haste in this post, as I have about six thousand (that’s my rough estimate) things to do & the night is ageing at such a rapid pace that which each glance at the time my heart just about stops.

Unfortunately, my exhaustion has not been vanquished by the weekend, it has but taken on a more ridiculous form. I have been sleeping on the train, I have been sleeping when I got home; I have been sleeping at all times that my eyes are allowed a brief rest, except at night! It is not that I do not try, or even that I can’t, it is my ‘other (not better) half’ and his new toy- a 40” HD tv. He has moved his Playstation into the bedroom and has decided that sleep is not of great importance. It’s slowly killing me, I swear.

I took these pictures on Monday, and what with all my sleeping, I just haven’t found the time to post them, and it’s increasingly pissing me off because the weather is gorgeous and even when I get home at half 5 the sun is still glorious and pictures would be easy, so I thought I’ll just post them & get it over with. (And now to totally contradict my seeming enjoyment of the said weather...)

Ah the Weather. I think talking of the weather is one, if not the most mundane topics of conversation, however, I am going to have to at least make a brief comment on it: I hate it. I am sorry my dear England, but giving us 3 days of sun at the very cliff of September is not a sufficient apology for such a hideous summer. We’re not prepared for such weather, and I despise you. That’s all I have (time) to say on the matter. Oh, and a warning: don’t wear thick woollen tights. You will regret it (seriously I thought my legs were going to combust suddenly and engulf me in flames).

Hmm what else to say... I’m hoping to get my hair done this week by my friend Vicky, she works at Saks and does my hair for free (she won’t touch it with bleach though; as she is convinced it will all fall out. Even though she has over 5 years of hairdressing experience I am still absolutely certain that she is wrong, it's going to be a sad day when she is proved right). She always does it really nice though, and I thought (before this stupid weather) since it was getting colder I could wear it down without the worry of getting a bit too sweaty and staining all of my clothes (yes, it does happen). Hopefully it will be done this week and I can finally relinquish my top knot (oh no she didn’t).

Right, need to start work! Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine more than I am! Lurrvve you all.

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Saturday, 24 September 2011

Drown Soda

Blouse: £6, Vintage, Skirt: £10, Urban Outfitters, Jumper: Boyfriends, Necklace: Same as almost every other of my outfit posts!

I. Am. So. Tired. I am not too sure why; I have no particular reason for being so- it is not as if I have actually done anything significantly exhausting today, and I had a minor lie-in yesterday (I had to take the day off to go to the Doctors). To be honest, I don't even know why I am fighting it- it would be wonderfully more simple if I just slept! But, oh no, I must not allow myself to sleep when I am tired! What an absurd notion that is! Sleeping when needing sleep? Pssht, you would think me half-human! So advanced apologies for this post; I don't know what I am going to write, I am just going to write, and whatever my fingers conjure will be posted, 'cos I really cannot be dealing with pissing about on here making sure I sound as sane as possible. I'm also getting really irritated because I made a lil' playlist before put it on shuffle, and it supposedly has 4 hours worth of songs on it, but I swear it's just repeating the same sequence. The computer must be about 2 meters away, but I really can't be arsed moving, so I suppose I should stop moaning about it...
Anyhow, this is what I wore to college today. I obviously couldn't be arsed ironing my skirt, you say? Correct- I avoid ironing unless it's absolutely unavoidable. I once read an interview with Fearne Cotton when I was about 11 where she said that "Ironing is a waste of life"- I instantly decided that that was the absolute truth, and have since been wearing creased clothes. I try and find clothes that don't crease easily, or hang them out to dry properly for minimal creasing; I just really hate ironing.
Kyle has attempted to ban me from wearing his clothes, but he clearly isn't trying too hard, because I've adopted this jumper and one of his chunky-knit cardigans, along with all of his T-shirts (I got pink Nail Varnish on one of his Morrissey ones, we were both distraught, but it was still quite funny & it's now almost definitely mine. Winner.) The way I see it is, if he wanted to borrow one of my items of clothing, this skirt for example, I would welcome him to it, so he's really just cruel and unwilling to share... The skirt is one of the two things I own from Urban Outfitters, the other being a shirt I got in the same sale about two years ago. It was reduced from £30 zillion or something stupid, and it was reduced to a tenner, and I liked it, so I bought it. It pretty much goes with everything (except maybe my hair) and is my go-to alternative to one of my black skirts (I swear I used to own pants once...) and I like the shape, it's probably one of my favorite items of clothing, but I don't wear it enough (note taken: must wear more). The Blouse is fairly new, from a Vintage fair in Leeds, it was the first thing I saw that I liked when I went in there, and luckily a good two hours later when I went back to the stall it was still there (phew), and now it's in my wardrobe (still a luxury saying "wardrobe" not suitcase...). I didn't actually take the jumper off all day in college- I just put the blouse on for the collar, but when I got home and saw how it looked avec (again, French Genius here) the skirt I think with a decent bra it would actually look pretty good...
I had so much to tell you all! But my head has obviously turned to absolute shit (wouldn't surprise me if it had liquidised and is now it's contents are just a vile cocktail of Aspartame, Diet Coke and Coffee), so I will leave you with a comment about the difference in the pictures: I must have caught the right lighting in one and then truly screwed it in all of them taken after. See, it was definitely not a waste of time reading that... Right, sleep, before I wake up and there are various members of the Blogosphere waving me off to the mental hospital. I promise a more coherent post next time!


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LISTENING TO- Malibu, Hole, Celebrity Skin (album)

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

A song from under the floorboards...

Shirt: £1, Cow Vintage, Belt: £1.50, Primark Tights: £1.50, Discount Store Bag: £9, Primark

Behold, the worst Outfit post known to modern man! I keep forgetting to take pictures and getting home and whipping my PJs straight on, so even though this outfit is rather hideous I thought, for the sake of Blogging, I should post it anyway. I got this shirt for a mere pound in Birmingham (I love how that makes me sound so well-traveled...) on the way to Devon with my family. The Liverpool to Birmingham coach took an hour less time than scheduled so we had two hours to kill in the coach station, and my sister and I spotted a Vintage shop across the road, and I found this and somehow thought it was the greatest thing in existence and I just had to buy it. Whoever owned this was a gigantic man with an appetite for Ralph Lauren- it's the only designer thing I own, which I think is a testament to my character, really. The tights I bought yesterday because slimming tights seem to be more comfortable and actually stay up! However it wasn't until I stuck them on this morning (I got dressed at 9:30 when my train was at 9:40, really bad idea...) and ran out of the house that I realised they are obviously designed to go under midi skirts and not anything that rides well above the knees, because you can clearly see the thigh slimming bits. I didn't fret about it too much though, I figured most people would just think them bicycle shorts or strange tights. I really like them, they're so comfortable, although I did put a ladder in them before and then decided I couldn't possibly throw them away so just ripped them in other places to make it look like I meant to do it...

I am feeling less than inspired with the way I look recently- my hair has suddenly decided it wants to grow at a rapid pace for the first time in years of willing it to get longer, leaving me with 3cm roots after a mere 3 weeks of dying it. It's also getting really patchy and I can't bare to have it out until it is fixed, but I am absolutely skint and so can't do that until I have a job! Hence why it is constantly in a top knot (this is also due to my lack of time in the morning and the poor weather). I am also breaking out really badly again, and I know why it is- I can't remember the last time I had a liquid that wasn't diet coke or coffee (or wine). Must. Drink. More. Water. I've also been eating copious amounts of food, none of which is good for me, and sleeping very little. All are contributing to my feeling of heightened disillusionment with how I look.

I would usually go on now about money, and my having none, but it is depressing me and panicking me so much that I can't even bring myself to write about it.

College is going well; I spent all of last night writing a play for history, I went a little too far and after watching all of the other groups in the class perform their un-thought-out pieces of shit, my over-dramatised and elaborate script ended up looking rather idiotic, but all was not lost, as my Tutor asked for a copy and congratulated me on my writing skillz. The further into education I get, the more I start to realise that History is the subject that I have always enjoyed far more than any of the others, even English. I wish there was more you could do with it than teach it or be an archaeologist...

And with that, I am off to put on my PJs and watch Made in Chelsea. Hope everyone is well! Love,

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Thursday, 15 September 2011

Sing me to Sleep

TOP: £4, Primark SKIRT: £24, American Apparel BLAZER: Vintage (Sisters) NECKLACE: Primark, £2.50
I can't even begin to explain how exhausted I am. I started Leeds City College this week, restarting my AS levels (Note I am restarting, not resitting, I was never failing last year, I just dropped out of college). It is lovely to be back in education, but it's been that long since I have done a full week of it that I am finding it rather difficult. Also, I am having to get up between 6.30 and 7 every morning, now, to most of civilization this is quite normal, but to me, well, I have never done it in my life. I successfully got through school turning up when I liked (which wasn't mornings) and was able to help create my timetable last year & made it so I only had minimum early starts (which again, I excelled in avoiding). The largest difference this time around is that all my previous places of education have been within a 15 minute proximity, but oh no, my train is at 8:05 to go to college, and then it is a 15 minute walk from the station, so it takes a good hour to get there (sometimes more when I get lost- I really don't know Leeds at all). I am finding it all very unfamiliar, and it's quite threatening.

The classes so far have consisted of awkward "ice-breakers" (they don't work, lets be honest, the only thing that works about them is that you end up talking to the rest of the class about how fucking ridiculous the concept of 'Ice-breakers' are) and some insultingly basic subject introductions (yes, I am aware of the political spectrum and where each party lies on it thank you Mr Politics Tutor). I have heard some excellently moronic comments though, so I thought I'd share them with you all.
On English (we're doing Jayne Eyre): "My English teacher asked us all what the last book we read was, and I said I haven't read a book, and he said why, I mean, I don't like reading, why did he even care"
Tutor- "so what have we learnt about Jayne Eyre so far" (my English tutor is forcing one of the many film adaptions upon us) Student- "she's a really good singer" (he was being serious) On Government & Politics: Tutor- "So where would Communism go in the political spectrum?" Student- "Mid Right?" On History: Student (attempting to describe Hitler as she didn't remember his name) "you know, that German one"

Seriously, I am concerned about the future of humanity...
I've just been so tired every time I come home I haven't even been able to eat properly; it's as if as soon as the key is in the door I loose a part of my consciousness! I've been living off Take always and fast food (being a student does have it's perks- hundreds of vouchers off Subway and Dominos etc.) I really can't wait to start getting properly into my courses though, especially History. My History Tutor last year was just the best thing Yorkshire's ever gave the world (except the Bronte Sisters, of course). We bonded over a mutual love of History and the fact I went to Ilkley every weekend and he was from a neighboring town, this year my History tutor (who is my favourite tutor in Leeds college by thousands of miles) and I share the fact neither of us are from Yorkshire.

Anyway, enough about college, I have to go because it's Kyle's 22nd birthday today and he's playing a gig in that goffical club again (yay...) so I am to watch him play. I am aware that this outfit is almost exactly the same as my last outfit post! (The shame). Maybe one day I will decide to wear something that isn't a black skirt with tights and a stripey black and mustard top and Primark necklaces, but I highly doubt it.

Loads of lurrrveee,

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Saturday, 10 September 2011

I Jessica Elizabeth, do solemnly swear...

Oh yes, it is time. Time for me to start imparting my judgement on the commodities they call cosmetics with all ten thousand (11) of you; or you could just say some product reviews, it’s your call.

I’m not really one to have faith in Blog reviews where the person has just purchased the product and instantly reviewed; mostly due to the fact that it’s simple psychology that we’re more than likely going to merely succumb to our previous expectations about the product from what we’ve seen or read elsewhere. If we were a little dubious about the product before hand, we’re going to find the faults; if we had read rave reviews and were excited to buy it, we’re subconsciously going to instantly enjoy its results. (This isn’t going apply if the product is extremely shit, obviously) So basically, I find that instant reviews are not really reliable- I definitely believe that in order to really get an accurate idea of how the product performs, you have to use it at least a couple of times first. But this is just me.

And so I vow that all the products I review on this blog are going to be after at least two weeks usage, unless otherwise stated (there it is in writing, and my signature is on the bottom, so consider it an informal contract).

I promise that all my reviews will be utterly unbiased and completely my own opinion and in no way influenced by any other individual or company, no matter how I come to receive the product. And I'm also going to say that if you have an opinion on a product I have reviewed, if you leave me an email or comment with it, or the link, I will try my lil' best to post them onto the original post, just because I love you all.

I personally won’t even purchase a product without reading reviews anymore and often find it difficult to part with my money when it comes to cosmetics, so I hope these reviews help at least one person. Too many companies are just churning out shit now-a-days, and we’re all too skint to filter it out from the good stuff ourselves, so hopefully the rise of beauty blogs and YouTube gurus will make companies realise that if they’re mascara’s clumpy; foundation’s cloggy and powder’s counter-productive, that someone’s gonna’ find out and post it all over the most influential media source in the world. Amen.

Unfortunately I couldn't do an outfit post today because I've been in my PJs all day trying to sort all Kyle's shit out from when he was younger (anyone who follows me on Twitter would have seen my string of abusive tweets about the said boyfriend today in a fit of anger at his total lack of consideration). I've still got to finish sorting the room and washing clothes but I am intending to follow this post, if I finish soon and don't collapse with exhaustion (I shouldn't, I have got through at least 10 cans of Diet Coke today...), with an actual review, so look out for that.
And finally, a huge thank you to all my followers and my new ones. I'm not gonna' lie, there ain't many of you, but I love you all just the same. *EDIT* And a big British hello to all those reading in the USA and mainland Europe! And obviously anyone who has a lil' read once-in-a-while.

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Friday, 9 September 2011

Back to the Old House

Jumper- £6.99 H&M Skirt- £23 American Apparel Coat- £34.99 TK Max Shoes- £8 Primark Necklace- £2.50 Primark

Why hello there. Now we’re all settled in the house I thought I’d give doing an outfit post a whirl seeming so we actually have more than a foot of floor space here (this is beyond exciting), a window with fully-functional curtains & (brace yourselves, envy is about to overwhelm you) somewhere, other than a suitcase, to store clothes. I used to have an enormous amount of admiration for all of you who do an outfit post most days, but now I’ve experienced how quick and uncomplicated it is when you have enough space to move, that’s now predominantly gone ;)

Sincerely though, I am thoroughly overjoyed with how living here is turning out; I feel human again. I even got up at 6:30am this morning for about the second time in my whole existence (I don’t ‘do’ mornings...) and didn’t even protest once. Massive improvement.

This is what I wore to college today. I was a bit pissed off actually. Obviously you ‘re all aware that the trains are repulsively expensive at ‘peak’ times (before 9am), well I only have £160 to live on until Christmas, and I paid £7 today to get to Leeds and for what? To sit there for an hour and get handed a timetable that says I have to be in college at 9am EVERY FUCKING DAY. Now, I am able to get a half-fare pass, but that still means I am going to be spending near £18 a week on travel alone. I was fuming, and all the staff were like ‘Oh, just speak to your Personal Tutor about it on Thursday’. Now I am not renowned for my patience, and I didn’t want to wait to talk to them about it, so eventually, just by chance, I found an Angel who helped me out. She agreed that it is disgusting that they expect me to get to spend that much money on travel when I’m underage and living "independently" and was shocked to hear that they refuse to give me any additional financial support just because my Boyfriend has a job (he’s a waiter on minimum wage). I am going to have to get a Saturday job, but even if I worked a full 8 hour shift every Saturday, with the minimum wages the Government have set for my age group (£3.64- near slave labour), paying that much for travel would mean I genuinely wouldn’t be afford to eat. Anyway, this is your ~style~ blog Jessica, not your Politics one...

Regarding why I look so tired; due to the excessive rain, I have just given up with wearing mascara, eyeliner and having my hair down, so I am enjoying the freedom of being able to rub my eyes without panicking once I see half my face smudged on my hands. This is just the sort of thing I wear day-to-day. It’s simple and comfortable and warm. The skirt was the skirt I mentioned in this post, from when I fell victim to the malicious American Apparel returns policy. It’s the most expensive piece of clothing I have ever bought myself, but to be fair it was worth the money; I’ve worn it in clubs and I’ve worn it to school and no one can ever tell it’s the same one. The Coat is one of the two coats Lis and Ken bought me at the weekend. I still can’t get over how lovely they are (and why Kyle is so unlike his Dad...). The shoes were one of those where you see them, linger on them for a while, leave and then can’t rest until you buy them. For £8 I think they’re rather fetching. My jumper was an instant buy because of the price, the shop assistant said they’ve been selling out within hours of delivery because the price is so good.

So that is that. I am going to try and make my outfit posts as regular as possible, and now it’s so easy I have no excuses not to. I’m also going to do a week in pictures (and words, of course) because I have so many from my weekend away and moving house!
Love, as always.

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LISTENING TO: Louder Than Bombs- The Smiths

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Why don't you find out for yourself...

Dress- £12- Vintage
Necklace- £2.50- Primark
Belt- £1.50- Primark

This is what I wore to Kyle's band's (would put a link out of boyfriend "selling/pride" but I can't find one) gig on Saturday night at a pub in Leeds. It was a ~goffic~ pub where the males had on more make-up and longer hair than their female counterparts. I don't mean to sound so judgmental, I was once a wearer of that sort of ~attire~ myself, I just mean to say that I, along with my friends, looked extremely out of place; we got a few glaring "what the fuck are you doing here" glances, to say the least.

I had this dress bought for me by Kyle's lovely Dad and Step-Mum, Lis. Lis and I went to a Vintage fair on Saturday morning and they were unbelievably nice and bought me quite a lot of lovely things (including two beautiful coats). (*Insert probably empty promise of photographs of these lovely things here*). After the gig we went to Chatsworth in Derbyshire where Lis lives and works, (which I actually am going to post photographs of because it would be such a waste not to) to visit the famous Country Fair, and to see where one of my favourite 18th century aristocrats lived (Georgiana, 5th Duchess of Devonshire, the real one, not Keira Knightly).

I've had such a lovely/busy week, I've moved out, started college and been in and out of Leeds more than I can count (or afford, those train prices!). I might do a lil' post about it all with pictures, just because I feel like I am seriously neglecting this blog (and I wonder why I have hardly any followers...).

Hope everyone is doing well! Is anyone back in school/college/Uni this week?

P.S. Paint (yes I use paint, can I be bothered downloading...I mean buying ;) Photoshop, naw) went weird so all the pictures are odd, boooo. And I finally made a little signature! Not sure about my new layout though.And regarding shoes, I did take a photograph of them but I was so rushed it turned out horribly, so you'll just have to take my word for it when I say they are lovely.

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Friday, 26 August 2011

Apartment Story

Dress: Given to by friend
Blazer: Vintage
Shoes: £35, Topshop

Finally, an outfit post! You have no idea how long that took me; if you knew how little space there is for a tripod in this flat you'd be crying for me.
I could have, very easily, dressed up in my finest clothes for this first outfit post and plastered my face with six layers of sin-coating make-up, but this is actually what I wore today (expect my hair was down, and then it started raining, so instead of leaking pink all over town I just chucked it up).
I've spent the past couple of days living through my Sims. I've named them all after Oscar Wilde Characters (my Dorian doesn't drive my Sybil to suicide- just sayin') and some of you may have noticed, tweeting like mad. Today is the only day I have eaten properly or left the house. I really need college to start.
Kyle and me are finally moving out next week. Finally organised (the date, nothing else).

I love this dress, and I can only get away with it when my hair is pink, so I whipped it out again as soon as I knew I was doing it. It does make me look like a Christmas Elf, and I have to protect my arse from flashing its glory to the whole of Yorkshire, but I still love it. My friend gave it to me last year (along with a bag full of other goodies that I haven't stopped wearing since).
These are the shoes I live in. I don't shop at Topshop, I find it's extremely overpriced for the quality you get. Everything I have ever bought from there broke within a month (once the straps broke on my £50 dress, almost revealing me to the whole of my family in a family party, the same day I fucking bought it). Okay, and I'll be honest, I genuinely can't afford Topshop- it's just too expensive. But last Christmas Kyle got me a £40 (I think it was £40?) gift card and then his Dad and his lovely step-mum got me a £30 one (I honestly don't remember the amounts, I just remember being a bit speechless). So to Topshop I went, and I got these shoes that were reduced from (again, the amount escapes me) something like £70 to £35 and I fell in love with them, and I haven't taken them off since. Flats do my stubby little legs no justice.
I think I still have about a fiver on one of those cards...I'll have to check up on that.

Again, another rushed post, when am I going to learn? Hope you're all doing well xx.

LISTENING TO: Peel Sessions- The Jesus And Mary-Chain

Monday, 15 August 2011

Pace is the Trick.

So this is another little update full of promises and progress for all you beautiful people. I finally went pink again! (separate post on how I did this and review on the products used to follow). It took a whole day to do and a lot of bleach but my hair is actually still (still suggests that my hair was previously in a good condition, but this isn't the case) in good condition (so it's not falling out- good sign). I keep looking in the mirror and being startled by the pink blob that is my head, but other than it being a bit patchy and staining everything it comes into direct contact with (and me), I love it.

I have bought my camera! Finally, you say? I agree. It is this one. It says it was £79.95 but I pointed out to the John Lewis man that it said on the site that the red one was £73.50 and the black was the higher price (on the shelf it was the reverse) and he said it must just be the website and that the black is cheaper, but when he scanned it through, it turns out I was right and so, like a good retail worker (we all know how to be one of those) he lowered the price for me (score). I have obviously been taking pictures of everything since I bought it and my family are being consistently blinded by the flash of the camera in their face and so far I am rather impressed. I bought it from John Lewis instead of a cheaper shop such as Argos because the last camera I had (RIP) was around £100 from Argos (it was a Lumix model) and obviously it being Argos, there was no one who could explain it's features and I couldn't see a working model. Now this camera comes with a free 2 year guarantee, whereas my old camera didn't come with any, and Argos wanted to charge me £35 for one, which I refused (and it broke within a year). So that's why I went out of my comfort zone and went into a department store that makes the eyes pop out of my purse.

Anyway, I have to go to Home Bargains (my second home) and investigate their largest suitcase. Coming here I had overpacked so much (I will tell you the shameful truth now- I was still drunk from the night before when I packed. I know, I know, awful) that I couldn't even lift my case onto the train and had to wait for kind strangers muscly arms to help me. It gets worse, since I have been here I have done a lot of shopping (both in actual shops and in the remnants of clothes I have left in my Mum's) and so I can't actually fit even half my things in the suitcase I have brought with me. It's really shameful and it makes me feel a little ill that I have to spend more money to fit it all in. I also have to buy a camera case, because otherwise it will be in a state by the end of the week. It's now 10 past 4 and I've been meaning to go since 9am! Hence the awfully rushed post.

So must dash, and expect many posts avec (check me out with my French skillz)pictures to follow. Love.

LISTENING TO: Our Love to Admire- Interpol

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Greetings from Devon.

Just to let you all know, I am currently on my holidays in Westward Ho! on the North Coast of Devon. I sincerly apologise for my near abandoment of my blog and I returning to Liverpool tomorrow (10 hour journey through the rioting cities of Bristol, Birmingham and Liverpool= an extremely terrified blogger) where I will be staying for as long as I can hold my sanity together (I am missing Kyle a pathetic amount). I have purchased quite a lot (of pretty things) so I will be showing y'all them, doing some reviews and purchasing a camera (finally). So basically, when I return to sunny Yorkshire I will be blogging a lot (hi, I'm Jess and I am unemployed and nervously waiting for college to start, so I have too much free time and a blog to fill). Kyle and me are also going to be moving house when I come back and I am, not so much excited as I am relieved, so I might post some cheeky pics of that as well. To summarize, this will no longer be a ghost town of a blog! And it won't be so shit when I get back. If not, you can all rip me to pieces. Love.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Well I wonder.

Romwe is one of the most genius and lusted after online shops in my mental list of all-time-favourite-sites. In fact, I am going to go a little further, and say it's probably my favourite. The prices are extremely reasonable, (don’t get me wrong, it’s no Primark, but then you don’t have to endure the dreadful ear-splitting screams of several dozen McDonalds-pumped children or trail 0 miles an hour in a stream of, ahem, ‘undesirable’ people, to get to the escalators, and that’s worth paying a little more on its own), and unlike similar priced sites (I won’t mention any names, all I’ll say is sometimes I think boo when I have to look through pages and pages of tacky shit before I go ohoo that’s lovely- see what I did there? I know, clever) I don’t gawp in horror at some of the catastrophes they call clothes, I usually drool with longing. So that is all good. Oh and did I mention there’s free shipping? Oh yes my friends. That is a huge incentive for me. I am quite frankly beyond bored with thinking I have found something for £8, and by the time I have gone through the agonising process of convincing myself that, yeah, it is okay to spend a little of my wages on something actually for myself, I find out that it’s actually £14 with shipping. Well I’m sorry but I’d rather not. I understand, having sold things myself over the internet (and getting seriously, seriously screwed by shipping costs), why it is necessary, but c’mon, I’d rather just drag my arse into the blinding lights of Primark and endure the said sufferings (I actually love Primark, so I don’t know why I am hatin’ so hard).

I must tell you though; I have never actually ordered anything from Romwe. I don’t ‘do’ internet shopping. The only reason being is that I am shit scared. I am an extremely indecisive person and tend to be drenched in guilt if I spend large chunks of cash, so my shopping ‘sprees’ tend to result in me coming home, trying on everything I have bought and A) selling them (at a discount) to my little sister or B) returning them, and I know myself too well to trust myself to return an item that I bought over the internet.

However, as you all should know by now (if you don’t, I will now proceed to choke you with my Morrissey obsession) that I love (just a tad) The Smiths and Moz, so you can imagine my excitement when I found this little gem. I genuinely almost wee’d my opaque’s. I have been thinking about it ever since I discovered it (yes, I discovered it, no one else in the world is allowed one). I have mentioned before that I would like a Smiths T-shirt, and why I am yet to buy one, but this just, I just really, really want it. I did prefer the blue one, which is, to my absolute horror, sold out, which is why I am posting this right now, because I have literally just found this soul-destroying news out. So I must dust off the ol’ debit card and stomp on my voice of reservations (repeatedly, mind you, he’s a stubborn little bastard) and buy buy buy! I mean, it is £9 (£8.98- lets not lie to ourselves, it is £9) and there’s no shipping costs. Fully justified; a job well done, if I do say so myself.

EDIT: Also found this Strokes tee on Ebay that I am thinking about buying. But I would much rather get a plain tee and jazz it up Gem Fatale style.

LISTENING TO: Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers- The National

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

WARNING: Word-heavy and a bit all-over-the-place. An Update.

Firstly, I have to thank all of those who have visited my lil’blog, and even though I only have a few followers, knowing that people are actually taking the time to read it means more than you could know. I find myself quite pathetically over-joyed that people are taking an interest.
I have to apologise in advance to all those who prefer pictures to words. I am a great lover of the latter. Due to this blog being fairly new (or maybe it’s just shit; it’s up to you), I have very little followers, and so I haven’t really mastered the technique of determining the difference between what I want to write, and what you want to read. The problem is, I am not an aspiring blogger, I am hopeful writer. But I suppose, if all the words you wanted came in the form of a small caption, you would be on Tumblr (and certainly not on my blog ahaha).

No matter how personally reserved and unbiased you try and be, a blog is essentially always going to be an echo of the blogger themselves, and this one is no different. My intention isn’t to gain thousands of followers and be presented with sponsors and masses of free gifts and clothes (although that would be rather lovely), it is simply a place to put my thoughts. There is no need to worry though- I won’t be posting about every time I need a wee or I’ve cut myself shaving. They’ll be as well filtered and relevant as I can make possible (which, as you can already see, isn’t going down well). I find I am more comfortable and uncomplicated when I write as if it is only to myself, so I do apologise to anybody who finds this blog goes somehow a little off-topic. I think ‘fashion’ blog is much too vague of a title.

Anyway, enough of that all that, I have some news; quite a lot of it, in fact. As I have previously mentioned, I have recently quit my job. Now, it was a decision that wasn’t easy to make, and when I got home from my last shift on Sunday I spent a good few hours of going between “fuck, what have I done” and “I have made the right decision”. But it was the right thing to do. So I am now unemployed, and if you could all give me a few quid a week, I could make this blog my profession, and we can all be happy. No, seriously now, I am feeling a little lost without it, but I’m sure it’ll pass.

Next! (I have so much to tell, my head is spilling with things to say and so it’s all just coming out in one terrible smack of the keys). The reason I have quit is because I am going home! Yes, Liverpool, I am returning to you. I am bizarrely nervous. In the last 4 months I have only been home, perhaps Four times, for no longer than two days, and those two days have been shifting between friends and family constantly with no time to entertain but a thought. I feel so disconnected to the person I was when I left; I am disturbingly different, and yet it as though back home everything has been motionless. This why I am pretty terrified- my family and friends haven’t had a chance to adapt to how I have altered. They’ll all be expecting the return of the girl who left, when she no longer exists. I no longer know how to be myself. That’s the untainted truth: I am petrified of going home, because I’m not sure who I am, or who I want to be.

So, not to get emotional or too caught up in creating a self-fashioned physiological profile, I will divulge mine and Kyle’s flawless and previously undisclosed, well guarded plan, aka. A seriously chaotic series of snippets from attempted conversations we’ve had about what the f*ck we’re actually doing. Basically, I am going home for a month, to try and ‘settle’ myself before I go to college in September, and then when I come back we’re moving into his Dad’s. Problem is, I am going to Liverpool on Saturday, the same day he is going on holiday for a week, and the room we’re moving into I haven’t even seen yet, never-mind inflicted with my taste in interiors. So we are a little panicky (well, he’s not, but I am panicking for us both).

Kyle and I, since we have been together, have only spent 10 days without seeing each other, and we both didn’t appreciate it very much, so a month is going to be hard, but I think we’re both looking forward to it. We need to miss each other. (And he needs to realise how much I do for him. Oh God I wish I could watch him try and keep up with all the shopping, washing, ironing etc. It would be so gratifying). So that is that very vaguely explained (which is what we all want because I’m already on 850 words).

Right, what else... When I go back to Liverpool you will no longer have to suffer with these self-indulgent, seriously poorly structured and irrelevant posts, because I will have a camera. It is also going to help that there is actually shops. Oh fuck I can’t even tell you how animated I am every time I think of the shops. Until you move to a small town, you will never fully appreciate the need for hundreds of corner shops, or a local H&M. So basically, it will be what you signed up for, rather than ‘what is this girl on about? Why is she posting essays?’. Which should be good.

Now for a more relevant update. The Purse, Podge and Pores detox is actually going really well. Last month I got paid about £40 less, and I ended up with about 10 days at the end of the month where I didn’t have a penny- this month I have about £80 of my wages left, and I am owed £67 by friends (which I will get back-mark my words). To put this in perspective for ya, I (did) get paid £3.64 an hour (I know, you don’t have to tell me how shit that is, I already know) and I’d work about 25 hours a week on average. I have to pay for our food, toiletries, cleaning products etc. etc. (remember I live 90 miles away from my family, who can’t afford to give me any money, and that I am not a sixth-former who has a job to cater for their Thursday night partying). So I got paid £345 last month and I still have £147 left. I didn’t even realise, it wasn’t (admittedly) a conscious decision, I was just more careful this month (ie. I realised that just because I had money in my bank doesn’t mean it’s limitless). I have also had that horribly expensive night in the Malmasion, and went to the RiverIsland sale, and generally been a lot more socially active this month. And to top it off, it's payday on Friday, and I am going to get about £100 more than last month, (and going home means I get free food, which is going to taste so much better). I am genuinely so proud of myself.

Since I started drinking more water, and moisturising every night, my skin has almost completely cleared up. It is so much better. Even Kyle has noticed. It was really so much easier than I thought.

Now regarding the ‘podge’, I have been tackling it, but it is more to do with the fact I have completely lost my appetite so have only been eating to stop myself from feeling weak. (I intend to do a separate post about this).

Now, thanks to all you sexy people, my technique of saving for a camera has allowed me so far to save £17.50 (which is in cash, so is in addition to my amazing money saving).
Luckily for you all, that’s all I can think of. If you have read all of this, you are either mental, or an extrememly lovely person, and you should comment so that I know who has suffered because of this tremendously word-heavy post. (I promise as soon as I get home there will be photos!). Lots of love.

LISTENING TO: Louder than Bombs- The Smiths

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Hello, FOREVER21.

I'm sure this post is self explanatory- it is simply my choices from Forever21.

I have recently found out that many share this peculiar little pastime, which is comforting, as it makes me feel less idiotic! But I spend an absolutely absurd amount of time scouring the many clothing sites of the internet creating huge ‘carts’ spilling with clothes and accessories (but mostly shoes- I’ll put my hands up to that) that I would buy in a perfect world where I had money. (To let you get a scale of this bare-inane obsession of mine, I once reached a limit on the River Island site- with the limit at £3000, I know, scary).

It has come to my attention actually recently that many no longer save your lil’ cart of dreams, which is frustrating because then I have to do it all again. So I recently rediscovered the genius that is the Amazon Universal Wishlist, and now I save it all to that (a wish list is more fitting, I think).
Obviously I am aware that many, many “fashion” bloggers post these, and I have been making little ‘boards’ for ages with all my picks from fashion retailers, so I thought I may as well share them on here, as it makes me feel less pathetic about the fact I spend so much of my time doing them! I can now convince myself that it’s actually very productive. It’s for the “Greater good” (how sacrificial of me).

LISTENING TO: Good News For People Who Like Bad News- Modest Mouse.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011


Since I began noticing clothes- back from the very first day I discovered the thrill of dressing in my 90’s signature of “inside out, wrong-way-round” dressing-up-bin-couture (it was a revolutionary move)- I have never been so stunned, nor besotted, by one item as much as I am with this Stella McCartney cardigan. It is an absolutely remarkable piece of woollen architecture. It’s just so bloody interesting and the texture is so rough and yet so beautiful. It’s one of those pieces that you wouldn’t (believe me I have scrutinized the net for a cheaper version, but with no avail) find anywhere else. It’s versatile in how you could wear it, but it’s a statement. (It’s a cardigan that I can’t even call a cardigan- it’s a ‘piece’).

Every fashion week, I flick through pages and pages of bollocks sloppily written by fashion journalists underneath pictures of catwalks teeming with absolutely nonsensically priced, inexcusably un-wearable (and I don’t mean just Paris) “ready to wear” garments, that are only lusted after by everyone from Anna Wintour to your neighbour because of the flappy label with someone’s name on. I appreciate the difference in quality, design and time between H&M and Chanel, but it still doesn’t explain the ludicrous difference in price. Unless Lagerfeld has personally stitched each seam with his own silver hair, I just don’t understand how someone can pay so much for something that in as little as 6 months time, will no longer be valid as appealing in the Vogue editorials.
I admit, I too would love a Mulberry Alexa; I would shiver with pleasure if a Burberry trench was on my shoulders, and would feel like the most powerful, chic, woman in this side of the bloggersphere in a Chanel Tweed suit, but come on, is this something that you’re going to want to keep for your daughter one day? It gives me the same sort of emotions as reading the Daily Mail; a dangerous mix of loathing, jaw-grinding anger and a wave of absolute hysteria at the farcical claims they make. This is just that. It’s pathetic. And anyone who can afford, and are willing to pay, that much for such an, frankly, embarrassingly hideous, piece of clothing, deserve to be stripped of their assets; wealth and wardrobe and left with nothing but their lovely pvc investment to survive in.
I have fell victim of label lust; you pay the extra for the trust in the brand, and the feeling of eminence you get from owning it. You’re essentially paying for heritage. You wouldn’t savour a River Island smock as an heirloom, but you would a McQueen. And my point is (yes, I did have a point), just as my Grandmother has saved a wardrobe full of her favourite pieces from her life time for my sister and me; this is something that would be in mine.

FACT: It would take me 60 days to earn enough to pay for this cardigan
I would have to starve for 70.
No cardigan is worth that, lets be honest.


I have been meaning to write and post this for a while now, but me being me, every time I went to do it I have been heavily diverted by irrelevant paths of links upon links. I wanted it to be well researched and refined, but, again, me being me, I have, since occupying myself with the idea for this post, have came to the senseless and counter-productive “justification” that until I post this blog, I can spend, eat and do the general opposite the title. And now I am just getting increasingly penniless, plump and imperfect- which is bad.
I am going on holiday (to sunny Devon) on the 5th of August and I have decided that, at the elderly age of Seventeen, it is about time I pop my bikini cherry. With holidays comes wet hair, no make-up and terrifyingly tiny and tight pieces of lycra. So that means that having hair that only comes out of a top knot once a year (I push the boat out each birthday), skin that is seriously deprived of anything good (my lips only see Pepsi Max, Coffee and cigarettes and the occasional OJ- water is something that is seriously lacking in my life) and a belly constantly pumped full of Morrisons crisp and sweet deals (Oh Hai £1 pringles), is generally not going to work in my favour.
I have gained a gruesome 14lbs + in the past Six months- I think moving in with your boyfriend is possibly the worst thing anyone who has a tendency to think “all or nothing” regarding food(/everything)- and it makes me uncomfortable. I can’t sit here and claim I don’t know how it’s happened- my diet has gone seriously downhill since I started earning my own money (thus being able to afford, and convince myself that I ‘deserve’ copious amounts of chocolate and crips). NOTE: I don’t want to focus too much on the weight side of things on this blog as I have had eating problems throughout my adolescence and this is (admittedly) my first non weight-loss focused blog.
I will no longer be in employment from this Sunday (24th- will talk about this in another post), and so I need to stop being so reckless regarding spending. I rarely ever buy anything I actually want (clothes etc.) and I am very careful with shopping, I just tend to leech my account dry by spending little bits here on there on sh*t I don’t need (Pepsi Max, Quavers, I hate you).
The beauty of this all is that they all flow beautifully into each other: If I stop spending money on food, I save money and loose weight and my skin will improve and vice versa.

(Will do a more ‘atheistic’ and in depth version tomorrow) Basically I am just going to drink a lot of water and stop eating such rubbish food.

I will keep everyone updated on how this is going. I hope that the fact that I have to post it in here will force me to keep on top of it. I have literally 17 days (Oh Jesus) to shatter my appalling lack of body confidence and squeeze myself into a bikini. This could be interesting...

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

A pouty picture: 8/07/2011

I thought I'd do some sort of 'Portrait of the week' al la one of my faves, LLYMRS. Because I think it's a really good idea. I think it makes it makes a blog a little more personal. Plus I don't have a (working) camera to do outfit posts, so you're stuck with my face for now!
.Here's me in a my friend's 21st in the Malmaison Leeds(classy bathroom pic). It was a really good night and a beautiful venue, but Magners cost £3.80 a pop and a medium glass of wine was £6.20. Made me really appreciate my usual haunt, the beautiful (prices of) Wetherspoons. But I came up with the flawless (except not, as I still ended up spending £30) plan of purposely mixing my drinks in order to get more drunk. So it was wine followed by cocktails and then finished off with some nice cheap (or not) cider. It worked, I ended up slapping Kyle in front of all his friends and storming off to the girl's toilets (or should I say 'ladies powder room).
.I wore my Chelsea Girl (Riverisland) white smock (that I got for £12.50 in the sale), my River Island Kimono (that cost me £10 in the sale), my Mum's old shoes and a pair of my very own bruised and deathly pale bare legs (it was a terrible sight).
.I'm about to make dinner (yes at half 11 at night, that's what life comes to when your boyfriend is a waiter). It didn't cost me a penny because Kyle's Dad has very kindly put a tab on the local fruit and veg shop for us (because we eat too many crisps). Lifesaving stuff for two poor Vegetarians. I am making Pesto roast potatoes, chedder stuffed mushrooms and lemon and garlic asparagus. It sounds healthy, but it ain't; about a ton of Vegetable oil (rip olive oil) is about to be used.

I must go, because Kyle's on the train now and I haven't even started!

Tuesday, 12 July 2011


The shoes I fell in love with, which were, much to my crushing disappointment, were not in the BANK sale. BUT NOW THEY ARE. For £19 pounds! My heart genuinely skipped a beat. I have butterflies. And a horrible urge to whip out my card and spend spend spend.

WANT (found!)

Found it already! These pleated shorts are just perfect. Although again not as A-lined as the French Connection skirt (last post), they'll do fine for a reduction of £16 off it's £20 original price tag (yes, £6!). Now £6 is more my price. All there is left to do now is try and convince myself that I am 'allowed' to buy them.