Firstly, I have to thank all of those who have visited my lil’blog, and even though I only have a few followers, knowing that people are actually taking the time to read it means more than you could know. I find myself quite pathetically over-joyed that people are taking an interest.
I have to apologise in advance to all those who prefer pictures to words. I am a great lover of the latter. Due to this blog being fairly new (or maybe it’s just shit; it’s up to you), I have very little followers, and so I haven’t really mastered the technique of determining the difference between what I want to write, and what you want to read. The problem is, I am not an aspiring blogger, I am hopeful writer. But I suppose, if all the words you wanted came in the form of a small caption, you would be on Tumblr (and certainly not on my blog ahaha).
No matter how personally reserved and unbiased you try and be, a blog is essentially always going to be an echo of the blogger themselves, and this one is no different. My intention isn’t to gain thousands of followers and be presented with sponsors and masses of free gifts and clothes (although that would be rather lovely), it is simply a place to put my thoughts. There is no need to worry though- I won’t be posting about every time I need a wee or I’ve cut myself shaving. They’ll be as well filtered and relevant as I can make possible (which, as you can already see, isn’t going down well). I find I am more comfortable and uncomplicated when I write as if it is only to myself, so I do apologise to anybody who finds this blog goes somehow a little off-topic. I think ‘fashion’ blog is much too vague of a title.
Anyway, enough of that all that, I have some news; quite a lot of it, in fact. As I have previously mentioned, I have recently quit my job. Now, it was a decision that wasn’t easy to make, and when I got home from my last shift on Sunday I spent a good few hours of going between “fuck, what have I done” and “I have made the right decision”. But it was the right thing to do. So I am now unemployed, and if you could all give me a few quid a week, I could make this blog my profession, and we can all be happy. No, seriously now, I am feeling a little lost without it, but I’m sure it’ll pass.
Next! (I have so much to tell, my head is spilling with things to say and so it’s all just coming out in one terrible smack of the keys). The reason I have quit is because I am going home! Yes, Liverpool, I am returning to you. I am bizarrely nervous. In the last 4 months I have only been home, perhaps Four times, for no longer than two days, and those two days have been shifting between friends and family constantly with no time to entertain but a thought. I feel so disconnected to the person I was when I left; I am disturbingly different, and yet it as though back home everything has been motionless. This why I am pretty terrified- my family and friends haven’t had a chance to adapt to how I have altered. They’ll all be expecting the return of the girl who left, when she no longer exists. I no longer know how to be myself. That’s the untainted truth: I am petrified of going home, because I’m not sure who I am, or who I want to be.
So, not to get emotional or too caught up in creating a self-fashioned physiological profile, I will divulge mine and Kyle’s flawless and previously undisclosed, well guarded plan, aka. A seriously chaotic series of snippets from attempted conversations we’ve had about what the f*ck we’re actually doing. Basically, I am going home for a month, to try and ‘settle’ myself before I go to college in September, and then when I come back we’re moving into his Dad’s. Problem is, I am going to Liverpool on Saturday, the same day he is going on holiday for a week, and the room we’re moving into I haven’t even seen yet, never-mind inflicted with my taste in interiors. So we are a little panicky (well, he’s not, but I am panicking for us both).
Kyle and I, since we have been together, have only spent 10 days without seeing each other, and we both didn’t appreciate it very much, so a month is going to be hard, but I think we’re both looking forward to it. We need to miss each other. (And he needs to realise how much I do for him. Oh God I wish I could watch him try and keep up with all the shopping, washing, ironing etc. It would be so gratifying). So that is that very vaguely explained (which is what we all want because I’m already on 850 words).
Right, what else... When I go back to Liverpool you will no longer have to suffer with these self-indulgent, seriously poorly structured and irrelevant posts, because I will have a camera. It is also going to help that there is actually shops. Oh fuck I can’t even tell you how animated I am every time I think of the shops. Until you move to a small town, you will never fully appreciate the need for hundreds of corner shops, or a local H&M. So basically, it will be what you signed up for, rather than ‘what is this girl on about? Why is she posting essays?’. Which should be good.
Now for a more relevant update. The Purse, Podge and Pores detox is actually going really well. Last month I got paid about £40 less, and I ended up with about 10 days at the end of the month where I didn’t have a penny- this month I have about £80 of my wages left, and I am owed £67 by friends (which I will get back-mark my words). To put this in perspective for ya, I (did) get paid £3.64 an hour (I know, you don’t have to tell me how shit that is, I already know) and I’d work about 25 hours a week on average. I have to pay for our food, toiletries, cleaning products etc. etc. (remember I live 90 miles away from my family, who can’t afford to give me any money, and that I am not a sixth-former who has a job to cater for their Thursday night partying). So I got paid £345 last month and I still have £147 left. I didn’t even realise, it wasn’t (admittedly) a conscious decision, I was just more careful this month (ie. I realised that just because I had money in my bank doesn’t mean it’s limitless). I have also had that horribly expensive night in the Malmasion, and went to the RiverIsland sale, and generally been a lot more socially active this month. And to top it off, it's payday on Friday, and I am going to get about £100 more than last month, (and going home means I get free food, which is going to taste so much better). I am genuinely so proud of myself.
Since I started drinking more water, and moisturising every night, my skin has almost completely cleared up. It is so much better. Even Kyle has noticed. It was really so much easier than I thought.
Now regarding the ‘podge’, I have been tackling it, but it is more to do with the fact I have completely lost my appetite so have only been eating to stop myself from feeling weak. (I intend to do a separate post about this).
Now, thanks to all you sexy people, my technique of saving for a camera has allowed me so far to save £17.50 (which is in cash, so is in addition to my amazing money saving).
Luckily for you all, that’s all I can think of. If you have read all of this, you are either mental, or an extrememly lovely person, and you should comment so that I know who has suffered because of this tremendously word-heavy post. (I promise as soon as I get home there will be photos!). Lots of love.
LISTENING TO: Louder than Bombs- The Smiths
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