Monday, 11 July 2011

(Warning, (really) long & pretentious post) A long over due 'Hello'.

(It’s going to be a very busy night for me. Hardcore blogging is about to commence in Flat One. Be wary).

Contemplating on how to go about this Blog with an (horribly unfamiliar and uncharacteristic) actual readable structure, I have come to the sensible (again, very unlike me) conclusion that I should actually tell you who I am. I have put this off ever since I started this blog, and have never done this on any of my various other blogs over the years, purely because I’m not a fan (in fact, it’s one of my biggest hates in life) of egotism, and an ‘About me’ type-post is highly likely to portray (anybody) as someone, to put in bluntly, who is very up their own arse. It’s mostly accidental and yet, unfortunately, largely apparent that when you write an ‘About me’ you can end up giving the effect of ‘advertising’ yourself as some brilliant young master of words. But hey, isn’t that what an ‘About me’ is essentially to do? To promote yourself, and thus, your blog, to potential readers? Anyway, in writing this sort of prologue to my ‘About me’, I have already achieved telling you three things about me; I constantly and consistently over-analyse everything; I ramble on like the English diction itself will no longer be valid after I stop; I have a serious soft-spot and an over tendency to use semi-colons (I just think they’re pretty). And so, I will now go forth and sell myself. (Eurgh, how cringy).
I’m not going to tell you every gruesome detail in my life’s history, like the date of my first period or what occurred upon my first sip (and those that followed) of Vodka. It’s not been the most sober and comfortable ride so far; forgive my ‘Oh woe me, no one understands’ emo-like air now, but I have struggled through traumas in my life that would shock even the most sombre of individuals. I will leave it at that. Maybe, the classic ‘Who; what; where’ will do the trick.

WHO: Jessica Elizabeth Baines. My Mum called me Jessica because she liked the name Jessy, and named my twin Brother Lewis because she favoured the name Louie, however, she has never called either of us by these names, and I have unfavourably have come to be adopted as ‘Jess’ by everybody (lil’ fact for you).
My Mum had my Twin brother and I in January 1994 at 22, later followed by my Lil’ sister in 1998. My Mum and Dad spilt when I was about 7 and my Mum later had my brother Reece in (Oh Jesus, I actually don’t know the year he was born!)...2004? He’s six anyway. And he’s witty as f*ck. My Dad got married to my Step-mum, Janet, in 2009(?) and they recently had my lil' Angel Jasmine in January. My family is so dis-jointed it’s hilarious, but I love them.

I am Seventeen years old, I left school last year with suspiciously good GCSE’s (I only had 40% attendance in my last two years of school and faced a lot of horrific situations in that time, so when I got my results I almost cried, but instead I got drunk and gloated).
I met my boyfriend, Kyle, in September on over a mutual admiration for Morrissey and The Smiths. We met for the first time on the 11th of September 2010 and although I would take great pleasure in kicking him where the sun don’t shine some (okay, a lot) of the time, I love him to (his bruised with my footprints) bits.

WHAT: I went on to Liverpool Community College where I began studying AS Government & Politics, English Literature and History (I had one short, shockingly mundane art lesson where I was instructed that I was ‘never to draw another line again’ by a very disorganised and eccentric woman who expected me to go out and spend a non-existent £80 instantly on Art equipment). After another unfortunate event in February I dropped out of college and moved to Ilkley.
I am starting my AS levels again in September in Leeds City College and am taking the same subjects, and debating between Art and Sociology as a Fourth. I intend to go to University, even with the (f*cking ridiculous, don’t even go there) rise in tuition fees. I won’t mention my grades (I sound egotistical enough), but they’re good enough to get into Oxford if I try, which is where I have where I have wanted to go since I can remember, and now it’s actually cheaper than ALL of the other Universities (Ah! The little perks of being from a lower-working class family) I am going to work my arse off. I want to become a journalist; I adore writing and the world of literature has stolen many, many months of my life so far. However, I’ll probably have changed my mind after I’ve got myself in £27,000 debt to start out on this path (sods law, as they say).

WHERE: I grew up in Liverpool’s inner city, ‘just off Penny Lane’ (yeah- never go there, it’s got a closed down pub, a Londis and a chip shop that never opens and used to have a very naughty drug farm upstairs). Liverpool will always be my home. Like a true Scouser, I will never say a bad word against Liverpool to anyone who isn’t a fellow Liverpudlian, but to anyone who also pronounces their ‘R’s with the distinctive harsh ‘rolling’ sound (as long as they’re not a wool, of course) Liverpool is a shithole (but still the greatest place on Earth).
I moved to Ilkley in February to live with Kyle (I won’t go into why but it was a choice between that or living in a hostel). Ilkley, is a small ‘spa’ town almost smack bang in the middle of Bradford and Leeds. The people have a tendency to be openly racist (which I cannot stand) and are a largely white, middle-class who-the-f*ck-are-you breed, which makes having them as customers at work a real pleasure sometimes. To allow you to get a better picture of Ilkley, I, as you know, from a lower-working-class family in Liverpool, once stared, with everybody else, in shock at the sight of a black family pulling up at the local Tesco (which is the 2nd most expensive in Britain-great when you’re on a brilliantly tight budget). Yeah, Really. So that’s Ilkley! I might be being unfair; it’s a beautiful town, I can see the moors from the supermarket and my house, which is something I never got in Liverpool, and some people are lovely, it’s just not my beloved L’pool.

WHY: I made this blog because after blogging for 4 years, I decided to finally write one people want to read, and that isn’t a literal substitute for a paper personal diary. I also love clothes, shoes, beauty and shoes (I really, really like shoes). But I’m on a tight (and I mean can’t-afford-heinz-beans tight) budget, and I want to learn, and share, how to still look good and indulge (gulp) on little-to-no money.
It also gives me the ‘hobby’ that everyone from my psychiatrist (I’m not a crazy person, I’m just ‘fragile’ 8l) to my boss have been persistently telling me to get for the last 6 years. Score.
I simply enjoy writing, fashion and Art and as I am one of those irritating and hateful people who have an opinion on absolutely everything, so I thought it would be good to voice it constructively rather than ranting it at Kyle at 2am.
I do hope people like it, but if not, I suppose that’s just the reality of humanity; I’m not for everyone. And that’s fine.

NOTE: Even though I have wrote a lot more than intended, I am sure I have missed (arguably more relevant) things out, so feel free to ask me anything, and I will answer whatever question you may have. I think I truly avoided my preconception that I would manage to sound up myself on this...NAWT.
Twitter: here.

Blog name: Tried many, I have always, even since MySpace (those were the days...), gone by the name as 'sheoncewasadoll', but one of those annoying bas*ards who steal URLs and then don't blog for 7 years already has it, so I tried my usual halfaperson, girlafriad etc. etc. but they all had Blogsitters resting their big fat arses on, so after going through (what seemed like) hundreds of Smiths & Morrissey singles/albums/lyrics I finally found one that was available. I'm aware that it confuses people when the URL and title are different (especially as I am not sure if will be 'signing' as Sister, I'm a poet' or not yet), but that's just how it's going to have to rolllll.

(There were supposed to be GIFs of all my delicious friends and family down here but they no move!)

So here's me instead:

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: High Violet (album)- The National

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